I am grateful for the tender mercies that I have felt in my life, and I am especially grateful for the Lord making me “mighty, even unto the power of deliverance.” Recently, I needed to be delivered, even rescued. The folk song Homeward Bound describes my feelings well:
Bind me not to the pasture
Chain me not to the plow
Set me free to find my calling
And I'll return to you somehow
I used to suffer from paralyzing anxiety that made even going outside of the house an extreme challenge. Despite being a member of the Church, I felt disconnected from my Savior, I had little, if any hope, my faith was very weak, and there was little purpose to my earthly existence.
During this time, a member of the Bishopric in my Ward called me and asked me to give a brief talk in Sacrament Meeting. Despite being terrified, I felt delighted, even exuberant again. In high school, I had done competitive oratory. I was relatively successful in the competitions. However, in order to give this talk in Sacrament Meeting, I would have to leave the house without a panic attack! With some support from medical professionals, our good missionaries, and the Savior, I prevailed, and completed the task that the Bishopric had assigned to me. I even enjoyed it! Because of my faith, and the tender mercies of the Lord, I was delivered! However, without being given a purpose to my earthly existence, to be anxiously engaged in a good cause, to be working, studying, and having a reason to make one day better than the next, my transformation was short-lived.
Fortunately, the Lord was not done with me. He knew that there was work for me to do in the Kingdom, work that I have had a sincere, earnest desire to perform in the Kingdom, an earnest desire that commenced when I joined the Church in 2003. The Lord was going to provide me with another tender mercy.
One night, the Elders in my Ward had to fulfill a request to see an inactive Sister who had not been to Church for several years. They needed another Priesthood holder to accompany them. They felt prompted to call me. I agreed to accompany them.
This was their second time visiting this Sister since the Bishop made that request. It became clear that she had a testimony of the Gospel, but she did not want to do anything with her testimony. That was somewhat depressing. The Elders called me later that night after the appointment to debrief me since it was a little depressing. I remember saying to Elder Dawson on the telephone, “I saw her in her situation, and it was a rude awakening for me. It made me want to do something with my testimony.”
When the Assistants are in your Ward, you get to hear about some of the dynamics at play that help keep a mission running smoothly, as God’s house is a house of order. Occasionally, they would tell me something about what they were working on, and I’d say, “You know, Elders, if you did that with another computer function instead of the one you are currently using, it would be much easier.”
Some of this information must have been relayed to President Holmes, including my statement, “I want to do something with my testimony.” Elder Dawson and Elder Peay made a valiant effort to help me overcome the anxiety I was again experiencing so that I could return to regular Church attendance and be eligible to serve in the Mission Office. After two Sundays at Church, my Bishop wrote me and asked how my health was and inquired how I would feel about a Church service mission. I replied that while my health wasn’t perfect, I was certain that I was sufficiently healthy to have a calling, magnify it, and then be sanctified by the Spirit unto the renewing of my body.
Through the Lord’s tender mercies, I am now neither bound nor chained to anything. I have again returned to Him, my Savior, Jesus Christ, not just somehow, but through the help of friends, ward members, ward and stake leaders, mission leaders, and last, but certainly not least, the Savior Himself. I have been set free, and I have found my calling.
-Elder Mobbs, composed 27 Feb 2012
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